The personal blog of Chris Lear: writer & creator of the comic - 'Secret Agent Heroin Ponies'.

SECRET AGENT HEROIN PONIES #1!(I, in no way, participate in, or encourage drug use. On account I think it’s stupid.**Literal, injectable, secret agent ponies, however, are hilarious.:))UPDATE: I JUST LAUNCHED AN OFFICIAL TUMBLR FOR SECRET AGENT HEROIN PONIES AT! :D-Chris

beardmanly said: When you were just starting out as a writer, before you had a family and a career to keep you going, what would you do when depression hit and you couldn't find the energy to write? Would you just force yourself to write anyway, or was there something else you would do?


i dunno. i’d feel depressed and write, or i’d feel depressed and not write. i don’t force it well regardless of my mood — forcing me to do anything is a surefire way for that thing to be done in a spectacularly half-assed and resentful manner. 

mostly i’d just… I have to grind it out. happy, sad, sleepy, horny, mad, lazy, in love, enraged, at home, abroad, wherever, whenever. you don’t have to PUBLISH it. you don’t have to think it’s GOOD. even when i have nothing to say i’ll write ‘i have nothing to say’ a hundred times in a notebook or whatever.

sometimes the writing is easier when i’m depressed. i can work through stuff, think through stuff. or just wallow, honestly. sometimes the writing can show you the way out. 

or sometimes i’m so into some other goddamn thing that the last thing i want to do is sit and write and it’s just as much a slog. it’s not a… i don’t understand the feeling of, the way people speak of writing as though it were, like, some kind of djinn to be summoned or like it’s the loch ness monster or seeing a shooting star. it’s a physical act. it is a thing you do with your muscles and your body and your willpower. watch, i’ll show you: get a piece of paper. get a pencil. put the pencil on the paper and write the word “something”

there. you did it. you wrote. you wrote ‘something.’ now put a word after something. Something what? Something… happened? creaked? died? flew? exploded? snapped? Tell me. With your hand, with the hand holding the pencil or pen or marker or crayon, it doesn’t matter, push your fingers and hand up and back and across and back until there is another word after “something”.

There. Now you’re writing a story.



Elektra #1 cover by Mike Del Mundo


Elektra #1 cover by Mike Del Mundo

(Source: comicartappreciation)

Finding a Place: Shitty Comic Shops Ahoy, or How All I Wanted Was Captain Marvel and Instead I Got a Lecture


I really just wish I could find a comic shop around me that was half as good as Third Eye Comics in Annapolis, MD. Central New Jersey is just utterly lacking in places that aren’t incredibly alienating and obnoxious. Going to Third Eye for the workshop by Kelly Sue DeConnick just opened my eyes to…

The Ragamuffin Speaks: The Culture Of Silence


If you’re reading this, and you’re scared to speak out, please just know that not everyone will argue semantics when you give an account of something you survived in the work place, or your home, or on the street. Please feel free to speak in my space. I want you to feel safe. To feel protected from the cries of blacklisting or ‘get over it.’ The internet is a wide open place. You can make your art, publish it and find your audience, all without having to ask anyone’s permission, or worry who will look down on you or try to take advantage of you. I am here, and I’ll take the brunt of the abuse so you can see the path of the bullets and avoid them. Stay strong. Make your art. And be the kind of woman you want the younger kids to see as an example. Because they’re watching. The young and impressionable ones. They see every tweet and every status update. Your gender, your sexuality and your level of experience doesn’t affect how I view you. Again, you’re safe here. Comics are changing. Comics are evolving. Your voice matters. Out the old guard and usher in the new. Make the stories you love. I have always believed comics could change the world. As a kid that was what I told people I wanted to be a part of. And now it’s here, but the battle is uphill. I know you’re scared. I know you’re intimidated. But telling stories with pictures is older than you and me combined. It’s ancient and it’s PURE goddamnit. No one can take it from you. Not with a keyboard and a screen and a scanner. Those are your weapons. Just remember to tag me so I can RT and repost and reblog. I’ll boost your signal soldier. And I’ll watch your six.”


"Crash" Self Portrait
Shot by: Sabrina Marie Curry
by Sabrina Marie Curry  (

Absolutely gorgeous.


"Crash" Self Portrait

Shot by: Sabrina Marie Curry

Absolutely gorgeous.


My latest illustration for a story about the state of graphic novels and arguing that they should be taken seriously by adults.


My latest illustration for a story about the state of graphic novels and arguing that they should be taken seriously by adults.

(via evilmarguerite)

Digital Baubles: The Only Statement I Will Make On The Matter


So a dude wrote a column. In it, he expressed his disappointment in our comic book and described his retailer tearing up a copy. (Please don’t go looking for the column; just take my word for it—dude gets paid every time you click and in an unbelievably classy move I should have seen coming, is…


whiskyjack said: Sorry to put this on you but I have an honest question about depression an suicide. Isn't it completely possible for it to be a alternative for someone. Can't there be someone out there who genuinely is tired and doesn't want to continue. I know there is beauty and wonderful things in this world. There are things to look forward to. There will be more pain but also more laughter. But what if I'm not interested?


well… well first off, i’d say, seek professional help immediately. because i am wildly unqualified to answer your question with anything but experience. and first off, my experience says, if you are in such a deep and dark place where you say things like this to total strangers on the internet, you need to be in contact with someone that can help you start to heal.

second, i’d say… you’re wrong. i’d say the things any of us don’t know, especially about tomorrow, could blanket every grain of sand on every beach of the world with bullshit. And to simply assume you are done tomorrow because you are done today is a mistake. a factual mistake, an error, a critical miscalculation.

i’d say, read Tad Friend’s piece JUMPERS in which he seeks and finds and talks to people that jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge — and lived. And they all say the same variations this: “I instantly realized that everything in my life that I’d thought was unfixable was totally fixable—except for having just jumped.” 

And know that this piece has kept me in my seat on more than a couple dark nights.

And i’d say — i’d say i felt that way before too, and i was wrong.

And then i’d tell you something i don’t even think my wife knows. this happend years before we met — shit, more than a decade — and it’s not   the first time i came close to suicide was on a thanksgiving night. i’d eaten well and then as the house shut down i went into the bathroom, drew a bath as hot as i could manage to stand, and climbed into the tub with a razor  blade.

As i started to cut, as the corner touched my skin and that jolt of pain fired into my head, i stopped and thought — y’know, last chance. Are you SURE?

And i was tired. I sounded like you, that i knew there’d be ups again and downs but i was just so fucking TIRED i couldn’t stand the thought of having to get there. I felt this… this never-ending crush of days that were grey and tepid but for some reason i was supposed to greet each one with a smile. the constant pressure of having to keep my shit in all the time was just exhausting.

I wondered, then — well, is there anything you’re curious about. Anything you want to see play out. And i thought of a comic i was reading and i’d not figured out the end of the current storyline. And i realized I had curiosity. And that was the hook i’d hang my hat on. that by wanting to see how something played out I wasn’t really ready. That little sprout of a thing poking up through all that black earth kept me around a little longer.

I realized then that it had been so long since i’d laughed. I was numbed out and shut down and just… i missed laughing. maybe if i laughed a little i could get moving again. so i’d wait for my comic to conclude, try to find a few laughs, and then reevaluate.

So I’m in the bathtub and i got this real sharp-ass razor, right? And i look down and there’s all my bits floating in the water like they do and i thought okay, let’s get funny and i got to work.

I shaved off exactly half my pubic hair vertically. The end result was a ‘fro of pubes that looked like a Chia Pet that only half-worked. I started to laugh as I did it. And every time i’d piss, looking down made me laugh. 

Because JESUS what a nightmare.

Shortly thereafter I got very heavily into Chuck Jones and Tex Avery. Way less chafing and way more funny.

jesus. i was still in high school at the time. dig if you will a picture of the chubby weirdo that was always giggling at his dick in the bathroom. that was me.

And then I guess I’d tell you about Dave, who did the same thing as me a few years later, only DIDN’T have my hilarious Chia Dick strategy in mind and got the razor in and up. And as he started to bleed out “Brown Eyed Girl” came on the radio and he realized he’d never get to hear that again so, in a bloody comedy of errors — I swear to god this is true — he got out of the tub, tried to get dressed the best he could, went downstairs calling for help only to find his family gone, went out to his car, and drove to doug’s house only to find doug not home and so, then, finally, he blacked out from blood loss sitting there in his car, playing a van morrison CD on repeat, until, by luck, Doug’s mom came home and found him. 

Fucking Van Morrison, y’know?

A song, a comic, something dumb, something small. From that seed can come everything else, I swear to god.

I guess last I’d say… I’d say that, look — if you reached out to me for an answer, than I have to reach back out to you and insist you hear it.  Because it means, what, you know me? My work? You read my stuff and thought, well, fuck, if anyone would know why I shouldn’t end my life, if anyone alive is QUALIFIED TO SAVE ME it’s the guy that had britney spears punch a bear? okay — okay, then, so as THAT GUY I’m saying: Get help. Now, today, tonight, whenever — get to a phone and find a doctor that can try to help you heal, that can try to recolorize your world again, that can help you start caring again. All you need is that one tiny thing, that speck, that little grain of sand. the World Series, AVENGERS 2, Tina Fey’s new show, the first issue of PRETTY DEADLY, some slice of the world you’ve never seen, some drink you love, who the fuck will love your dog like you do if you’re gone, what if jabrams KILLS it on the new STAR WARS, the hell are you doing for Halloween, you ever feed a dolphin with your bare hand? because i have and I am fucking telling you IT IS A THING TO EXPERIENCE and oh god WHAT FUCKING FONT WILL STARBUCKS USE ON THE CHRISTMAS DRINK SLEEVES THIS YEAR — i don’t care what or how dumb but i promise you somewhere in your life is that one fleck of dust that can help start you on the road back. That’s all it takes. One fucking mote, drifting through your head. 

And because you asked me I am answering you because i know, motherfucker, i know, i know, i know the hole you are fucking in because I was there myself and if you look hard you can still see my writing on those walls and if you stare long enough i swear to god it’s pointing to up

APE IN A CAPE: About The Incident


A bunch of people have asked kind notes to see if I’m okay. It’s much appreciated, I’m fine. I am still having little adrenaline moments and I can’t stop thinking about the girl and what could have happened, so many things could have gone badly. But I’m fine, and your kind thoughts are…

APE IN A CAPE: So, This Happened


Warning, this may be a little long. And a big fat trigger warning for violence.

Last night, I was in Eugene, Oregon for some business things and some shopping I had to do to prepare for a trip to Wales and Norway next week.

My son is going to the University of Oregon there, and lives in an…

Drawing Batman (with your eyes closed)


This San Diego Comic Con, I stole an idea from Blind as a Batman and had a bunch of my mates attempt a little Batman drawing with their eyes closed. Here are the results.


Mo Shafeek
General Manager at Mondo



Read More

Sounds about right.

The Stranger: Certain Doctor Who Phrases and how Olive Garden Customers React: An Experiment Done by a Server


As a server, I did an experiment tonight, I was saying basically only Doctor Who quotes to my tables, some understood, others did not. These are a few of the phrases and people’s reactions:

[When greeting tables] "Oh hello! I’m The Doctor! I am here to help! Look, they gave me a badge with my…

(Source: twotabletaylor)

Marguerite Bennett: My New Favourite Person In Comics




Thesis off the top: Marguerite Bennett is both my new favourite person in comics and my favourite new person in comics.

Making her comics debut co-writing last week’s Batman Annual #2 with Scott Snyder, Bennett constructed an excellent, character-focused tale in the haunting annals of Arkham Asylum. There was a great sense of meaningful characterization behind the personality-driven dialogue the likes of which I do not often see outside the work of people like Joshua Hale Fialkov and Dennis Hopeless.

Read More Here

I really fretted about reblogging this because it seemed vain, but it’s absolutely made my day. Hope I get to meet you at a con, sugar. :D

Well, thank you very much! Honestly, it made my day that it made your day. :D

And on the con note, I’m assuming DC isn’t shipping you up to Toronto for Fan Expo next week? I’ll be there the entire time. If not, one of these days! :)

Fialkov And Infurnari’s The Bunker Should Be On Everyone’s Digital Pull List



“Printed on the wireless ether in Americay.”

This is the last sentence of the legal blurb that appears before the first chapter of Joshua Hale Fialkov and Joe Infurnari’s new creator-owned digital ongoing, The Bunker. I like how the Internet is being referred to as ‘the wireless ether’. It gives it a nostalgic, warm feeling of an era much past of which we are no longer a part. Whether or not this will have any bearing on the story is irrelevant.

Or is it?

Read More Here

You should read it.

Because it’s awesome.

(via joshfialkov)